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NBC Takes an Olympian Hit

Posted by :James Howden On : February 28, 2006
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I promise. This is my last Olympic post. (I think I promise.) Dave Zirin, that counterculture sports columnist, fell into my Inbox again. (You can get it here.) He reminds me of the blurb that Howard Cosell once wrote for one of my favourite books on sport: Foul: The Connie Hawkins Story by Dave Wolf. It came out in the 1970s, and for some reason Humble Howard’s assessment lives on in my head though Foul disappeared from my shelves decades ago: “Puts to rout forever the propagated notion that sports is a sacred cow and the only milk it emits is pure.”

Zirin is in a fever to do the same thing. I must say that I didn’t watch any of NBC’s Olympic telecast – when you can get the CBC (as some lucky Americans can), why bother? – but I’ve seen their act before. So I enjoyed what Zirin had to say about his own national network’s approach, full of junk sports and jingoism. Here are some excerpts (the entire article can be seen here.)

The Winter Olympics have been to NBC what icebergs were to the Titanic. With the exception of the prime-time figure skating competition Tuesday, ratings have been subterranean….[W]hy? The answers speak to everything that’s wrong with the arrogance of television networks and the hypocrisy and jingoism at the heart of the games….

Moldy Nationalism: It’s amazing. Baseball fans cheer for the DR’s Pedro Martinez, basketball heads scream for Germany’s Dirk Nowitzki, and the sporting world has never been more of a global village, but NBC still treats the games as if it were 1980 and the United States were taking on the Eastern Bloc….Please, NBC. Rocky has retired and Ivan Drago has left the building.

Treating Us Like We Are Idiots (or Tape Delays): In the age of real-time video on the Internet, showing the games on ten-hour tape delay is as anachronistic as shoulder pads and piano-key ties…but for NBC to [do live coverage] would mean losing precious advertising dollars. So viewers lose the very essence of what separates sports from pro wrestling: suspense and surprise at unanticipated outcomes.

Manufactured Sports: Is your water cooler abuzz with news of the skeleton finals? What about the half-pipe? The slalom? No? Then congratulations, you don’t work in an insane asylum. Most of the sports highlighted by NBC seem to have been dreamed up in corporate boardrooms to sell Mountain Dew and manufacture medals for US athletes…. This is not to say that there isn’t art or beauty in the practice of these sports. But to feel them marketed to us like an X-treme Tupperware party just became tiresome….

There have been compelling acts of athletic derring-do and personal turmoil during these games. If only the NeoCon Bellowing Corporation [ed. note: Yikes!!] would have had the imagination and the backbone to fully and fairly cover what was happening, these Winter Olympics would not have been such a staggering waste of time and talent.

 Dave brings it strong. I particularly liked his description of the marketing of an “X-treme Tupperware party”. Slick. But hey, Professor Zee, you should try to get the dear ol’ CBC on your satellite dish. Trust me. You’ll feel better.

Houston: Canadian Hockey Heretic

Posted by :James Howden On : February 27, 2006
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So it was Sweden and Finland for the gold, the Czech Republic and Slovakia for the bronze. Those of us who think that Canada/Russia or Canada versus the Entertainment Empire are the great hockey rivalries need to think again. And yes, I’ll say it again: those who persist in thinking that Canada is “still the best” are just plain wrong. We love hockey, we play it proudly and well, but there’s something missing. I wrote about this in ’03, and called my rant “It’s About the Skills, Stupid!” (Click here to read it.)

One of the few media commentators not to be an apologist for The Canadian Way is The Globe and Mail’s columnist William Houston. Watching commentators fall over themselves to reassure a panicking nation, Houston observed in Friday’s Globe, “Still, the mythology lives on. Yes, unfortunate setbacks occur, but Canadian hockey remains the gold standard…. The Canadian hockey media, with some exceptions, are first into the bunker. To the battle stations, men and women, to defend our great game and the Canadian way…”

Houston must take a lot of heat for his views, which he has repeatedly stated. Pardon me for lengthy quotation, but I really think he has it right. Canadian pride is getting in the way of our athletes getting the best coaching. We refuse to learn, while the Europeans have not hesitated to learn from what our guys tend to do well. Here’s Houston on skill development:

Consider this: Who’s the most talented player in the world? It certainly isn’t a Canadian. Arguably, it’s a 20-year-old Russian, Alexander Ovechkin. If it isn’t Ovechkin, it is a 34-year-old Czech, Jaromir Jagr….Still, the excuse makers will talk about Canada’s wonderful accomplishments. They will recite the men’s record on the world scene — the gold medals won by the senior team, the juniors and under-18 team. But those achievements were the result of Canadian hockey capitalizing on its strengths: organization, commitment, preparation, excellent coaching, strong team play, a work ethic, defence, determination and aggressive play. Skill development?

There are two systems in which the game is taught: European and North American. The Europeans produce the game’s best skaters and stickhandlers. The players are creative with the puck and fast on their skates. That’s because Europeans spend more time practising skills than North Americans and receive better coaching. Bodychecking is kept out of the game until the junior level. That gives the little guys a comfort level in which they can do things with the puck without worrying about getting hammered.

In the Canadian volunteer system, kids at the top level will play more than 100 games a season, but will not receive enough practice time. Winning is paramount. Size is important. Defensive and physical play is stressed. Entrenched organizers and influential figures glorify toughness and fighting. They ridicule no-bodychecking rules.

That’s why Canada produces good players, excellent checkers and great fighters. And that’s also why, when a Canadian team goes to the Olympics and competes at the world’s highest level, it gets outskated and can’t score…

 Yup. He done tole the truth.

Who Owns the Podium?

Posted by :James Howden On : February 27, 2006
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I haven’t been happier to be wrong than in this Olympic assessment: I was convinced that Canada’s “Own the Podium” predictions were unrealistic. But now, hear this. Third place? Check. 25 medals? Are you nuts? Well, how ’bout 24? (And 16 of those from our women! If the guys in red can rise to the gold standard of Klassen, Hughes, Wickenheiser and her mates, Canada will rock the snowbound world.) Only one medal behind the Yanks, and there were an amazing number of top ten finishes by young Canadian athletes that you and I and everybody we know had never heard of. So when the Canadian Olympic Committee sets the Vancouver 2010 bar at nothing less than the top of the hill, well, they have my attention now. Shoot, maybe we’ll even watch some skiing and skating between now and then.

Garnet ‘n’ Grey: Oops

Posted by :James Howden On : February 26, 2006
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Well, I was right about York. I feel a bit sorry for the GeeGees, as Ottawa U has made big progress this year – defined mostly as having beaten Carleton for the first time in Coach DeAveiro’s seven seasons (at the Raven’s Nest, no less) but also in having earned a top 5 ranking for much of the year. And then their superb freshman, Josh Gibson-Bascombe, went down and now they graduate nearly everybody else. (Well, I hope they graduate; eligibility is done for four of their top seven guys, I think.) They have their foothold in Ottawa recruiting, and they have a national profile. And their sports information guy is fanatical, by CIS standards. I just hope it’s not the coach that has to do all that extra writing for each game setup and result; I did that job way too diligently as a high school coach in the hoops desert.

OUA East Playoffs: Ravens in a Romp

Posted by :James Howden On : February 25, 2006
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The basketball dynasty in my back yard keeps rolling along. The Carleton Ravens should have been facing York, and the Lions are getting healthy at the right time. They’ve looked good recently. (They’ve looked good, that is, in game reports I read on the CUBDL, an email newsletter on Canadian university hoops. You didn’t think their games were televised, did you? A note to Dale Stevens, McMaster  Marauder loyalist and hoops devotee in Hamilton, at dstevens@mcmaster.ca, will get you in on the CIS hoop scoop.) York has played much of the year without their top scorer (last year’s OUA East Player of the Year, Dan Eaves) and rebounder (6’10” Jordan Foebel), and could have threatened the Ravens’ drive for a fourth straight national title.

But Queens went in and shocked Toronto, moving York into a matchup with Ottawa and earning themselves the privilege of getting drilled by 34 at the Ravens’ Nest. Ouch. My taxi run to pick up friends made us a bit late, and while we waited for a break in play before sitting down, Osvaldo Jeanty hit three treys in consecutive possessions. By the time we were settled, about 8 minutes in, so was the game. Aside from the Wizard of Os, nobody played all that great, and Coach Dave was fuming. (But then, he always does.) Wait, I should say that Rob Saunders is proving to be better than I realized (he’s been hurt lots, too), another one of those tough Carleton guys who isn’t great at anything but defends well, knows where the rim is and rebounds like a madman.

And El Predicto knew this game would be a blowout, but he goes farther: Ottawa U is going down tonight to York in the other East semifinal. Their terrific season (including that long-awaited win over the cross-town rival Ravens!) ends with a groan. Just a feeling.

Women (and Women) First

Posted by :James Howden On : February 22, 2006
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First things first: I come not to bury the Canadians, but to praise them. Cindy Klassen made her fourth Turin medal a golden one in the 1500 metres and right behind her was another Canuck, Kristina Groves. I think it was Klassen that I heard interviewed – another of these wonderfully appealing, superb-role-model Canadian women – who voiced the thought that speedskating was the most beautiful sporting movement there is. And it’s true: all that power, all that glide, all that grace, all that rhythm and sway.

I can remember a small-town school gymnasium with a TV on a stand. It was September 1972, and we were watching game 8 of the series with the Soviets. I remember dancing and yelling like a fool — we all were — when Paul Henderson scored The Goal. I went on to spend thousands more hours in high school gyms as athlete and especially as coach, and the CBC television inset of Klassen’s old high school gym rocking as she rolled just about made me burst. Those kids will be walking on air for a week. Sport is good. Now, Bob Knight is no model for me as a coach, but I admire his mind and his resolve. And he said it true when he noted the value of sports in a school: “It’s pretty hard to rally around a math class.”

Yes, and the Klassens and the Groves and that sweet surprise gold in the cross-country sprint by Chandra Crawford (and silver in that crazy short-track skating relay), all these great performances by Canuck women are almost certain to be bumped aside by a rather predictable loss by the men’s hockey team. Stumbling through the round robin got them Russia, and the Russians were just better. I am an official member of the Alexander Ovechkin fan club, and not just for that enormous winner he scored. He’s electric  out on the ice, power and speed and skill. Whew! Sad to see our boys go down, but the Russians played not only a victorious but a beautiful brand of hockey.

And how’s this for analysis? Sam, my five-year-old, is learning to skate on our Tiny Perfect Backyard Rink™ and his hockey baptism is coming along nicely, but he’s never really watched a game before. He came in to watch the last few minutes of Russia-Canada, and though he had trouble finding the puck, he quickly began to be able to follow the game and knew which team was in red. He heard his old man moaning a bit, but he came up with this insight completely on his own: “Hey, don’t go in the corner, go to the net!” And on that wide Olympic surface, Ovechkin and company were regularly able to get to prime scoring territory while the Canadians spent most of their time in the offensive zone mucking in the corners. It was obvious even to a little sprout like Sam. Grinders ‘R Us, even with our best guys (?) on the ice. Sigh.

A Win is a Win, But…

Posted by :James Howden On : February 21, 2006
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Well, the scoreboard read Canada 3, Czech Republic 2 in Olympic Men’s Hockey, but it’s surely another of those cases where a win isn’t that helpful, and I’m not just talking about getting a different quarter-final draw than the Russians. It’s not helpful because, as one commentator quoted Canadian hockey man John Muckler as saying, “You never criticize a win.” And there’s probably not enough time to learn and apply anything from that game anyway, but I can’t see us beating the Russians if their goaltending is decent.

That first-period 3-0 lead was a relief at the time, but it seemed to make the announcers think the Canadians were playing well. They were better than they’d been, Brodeur was good in the net, and he was about to be sensational in the second and third periods where the Czechs skated and skilled rings around our guys. But even in the first period, I thought the Czechs had more good chances, and without two gift goals would have been down only a singleton. I can understand Canadian national soccer sides playing an effort-based, toughness-centred, keep-it-simple style, because they are consistently out-talented. But I hear us crowing all the time about the wealth of Canadian talent available to selectors. There is sure a lot of volume, but if we are indeed more talented than other nations, it sure seems odd that we play the game we invented as if underdog pluck and desperation were the only cards we had.

Olympic Hit List, Part X

Posted by :James Howden On : February 20, 2006
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When it comes to the individual Olympic sports, I’m pretty much a traditionalist. Alpine skiing does it for me far more than snowboard stuff does. The latter, in addition to the aggressively care-less attitude of some of the competitors, strikes me as a sport that Americans invented because they weren’t dominating skiing. Sorry for the cynicism. Anyhow, the deep traditions of alpine skiing mean at least a couple of things. One, there is a history to the sport, and great competitors and brilliant events, that give greater lustre to the renewal of a relatively longstanding event. This leads inevitably to a second fact: because of this history, there is also an enormous body of young athletes and experienced coaches and a competitive system that produces greatness.

In so many of the marginal or new-kid-on-the-block sports, on the other hand, I have to wonder, “How many people actually DO this?” Can’t remember who wrote it – Stephen Brunt from the Globe and Mail is a likely candidate – but one retrospective on Canadian performances at the Sydney Olympics argued that the greatest was Kevin Sullivan’s 5th place in the 1500 metres. Given the number of possible countries and athletes vying for this elemental and prestigious track race, an Olympic top 5 is worth any number of synchronized diving medals. Not many Africans (not many anyones) have the facilities, the economic privilege, of even recreational diving.

I can’t help thinking about beach volleyball. (Warning: a severe rant warning has been posted. Too late to say “Don’t get me started!!” Sorry.) No doubt these are good players – I’ll ignore for the moment that over-the-hill Real Volleyball players can then be put out to pasture on the beach – but this should not be an Olympic sport. It exists because of partial female nudity; the men’s competition is tacked on for gender equity reasons. Because it is an Olympic Sport, we get to watch shots of (admittedly quite remarkable) upper and lower female cleavages, salacious views that would normally be intolerable during day- or prime-time viewing. It’s cheesecake. Soft porn with spiking, mud wrestling with sunglasses and some bonus athleticism.

I won’t even go into how repetitive and limited it is compared to the variety and power of the real thing, actual Volleyball. I’ve played a little beach and, though I’m a poor volleyball player, I liked it. I know how good these beach players are, and I’m sure the game makes for great off-season development. If I was a volleyball coach, all my players would be encouraged to play. I was a basketball coach, and I wanted my guys to play all the summer driveway one-on-one, all the half-court 3 on 3 in the park that they could. But that doesn’t mean I’d want Asphalt Basketball in the Olympics. The real game is already there.

Bobsleigh Silver

Posted by :James Howden On : February 19, 2006
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Well, now I’m compromised. I hate it when Canadians win at sports I don’t respect much. (See: Sydney Olympics, synchronized diving. Sheesh.) The bobsled competition reminds me of what Larry Walker said when the Rockies outfielder wasn’t Canada’s top male athlete after a National League MVP season: “I got beat by a car.” (The nominal winner was Jacques Villeneuve, whose career went south when he no longer drove that car.) It’s not quite the same situation, except that when the equipment is as important as the athletes, I just can’t get too excited. I’m irritated, too, when success looks far less interesting to the TV audience than failure does. (Take a memo, snowboard cross.) The morbid allure of catastrophe can’t be a criterion for a good and worthy sports event.

Unless they’re Canadians named Pierre Lueders and Lascelles Brown and they’re winning a silver medal. (And refusing to talk, afterwards, and to their credit, about their suspicions on the mysterious but widely alleged modifications to the gold medal German sled. Digression complete. Well, except for noting the ironic timing of the similar grumbling after the Daytona 500 was won by a car – yes, I said a car, and not Rusty or Jimmy or whoever it was at the wheel – whose chief mechanic was suspended for illegal monkeying. But I digressed again.) Lueders is a tough and competitive guy. Brown seems a pleasant fellow, too, and his story of getting his Canuck citizenship in the nick so that he could compete was a sweet one. So was Lueders’s reaction to it as he hearkened back to understand why his own immigrant parents had come to Canada and how lucky he felt as a result. Go, Canada! Go, Citizenship and Immigration Canada!

But come on. The sport is fast, it has deep roots, but when the brakeperson can make the Olympics a few months after their first run, as was the case with a couple of Canadian sleds and presumably some others, it’s somewhat discredited in my mind. Find a not-quite-good-enough track athlete or football player, and teach him or her how to push a souped-up toboggan for 5 seconds, jump in and pray. Olympia! Sorry, Pierre, and you, too, Lascelles, but bobsled doesn’t make the Howdy Olympics. If pressed to pick a sliding sport for the Big Owe, I’m surprised to be leaning toward skeleton, the crazy, X-games-ish, new kid on the adrenalin-rush block. Tradition isn’t my only criterion, apparently.

Hockey Fright in Canada

Posted by :James Howden On : February 19, 2006
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Let me be the 7,758,901st to join the national hand wringing in Canada over the desperate fate of Canada’s Olympic men’s hockey team. Let’s say, first, what it’s NOT about.

It’s not about Wayne Gretzky’s choice of wives or assistant coaches. The possible existence of a betting ring involving an NHL coach (Rick Tocchet, not the Wayner) is a serious matter for the integrity of league play, but it has nothing to do with Canada’s performance in Turin. And now for a few suggestions about what is going on.

Europeans play great hockey, and it is a generally more highly skilled brand than Canadian kids are encouraged, coached or, I daresay, even allowed to play. (So long as Don Cherry’s anti-finesse opinions are taken as gospel in Canadian hockey circles, a genuine commitment to skill development has serious obstacles. The kind of Canuck chauvinism that he quivers with makes learning from what the European system does well more difficult than it ought to be. They have not hesitated, it seems to me, to learn from the best of Canadian hockey – and there’s a lot to love. And emulate.)

If having the best team win is your object, the Olympic “lose and go home” system after the round robin is not a good system. The nature of the hockey beast – especially that dominating presence, the Hot (or horseshoes-up-his-hind-end) Goaltender – does not lend itself to one-game eliminations, although it does allow for vastly inferior teams to ice the occasional miracle, which makes for sappy but popular movies. (See: Lake Placid, men’s hockey. The United States got to have its cake and eat it, too, being the sympathetic underdog and still getting the golden glory. Perfect! Sweden’s defeat of the American women, despite being outshot by more than 2 to 1, is the karmic companion for the Americans. Sweden’s turn to make the movie.) Hockey is best played in elimination series, but I’m flaying a dead giraffe. That’s the Olympics. Deal with it.

It’s too early to tell if the Gretzky Gang, though, have chosen the right players. Our two most mobile defenders are hurt, it’s true. With four years between Olympics, we may have favoured experience too much; it downplays the experience gained by the youngsters in between Games, not to mention the eroding skills of vets who were on top in ’02. It seems certain that we would have been loyal to Lemieux and Yzerman had they not had the grace to bow out. On that big surface, with all that youth and speed, Canada would have been hobbled by them, I’m sorry to have to say about such wonderful players. Like a lot of people, I wish that Staal and Crosby were there; watching the young Russians, with their furious speed and skill, is breathtaking when they’re going well.

I repeat: it’s too early to tell.