James Howden (on sappiness & birthday songs)

With apologies to the great Paul Simon, I present a thoroughly personal update of his jiggy 1975 song “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”. A chronological milestone was recently reached by my bride, who had the dubious honour of hearing — LIVE! — Mr. Simon’s melodies and beats overwhelmed by a most eccentric chorus of all-too-willing back-up singers, with me trying to stay in one key during the verses. It was. It was… It was odd, funny and delightful. She loves to laugh, does my bride. Her name is Diana.

Fifty Ways We Love Diana

This business of aging’s no big deal, don’t you agree?

The woman’s always dancing, if a little recklessly

And when we think about the loveliness of ‘Dee’

There must be fifty ways we love Diana

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